I have never been bothered by Mother’s Day every year, even though it is being celebrated by the whole world every month of May. Maybe because I am not a mother yet that’s why I don’t really bear the significance of celebrating this like Christmas or New Year.
I didn’t even bothered giving out anything for my Mother during this occasion, I guess coz she always say that I love my Father the most and she’s not my “favorite” that’s why I am not really that close to her. Until one night it struck me after going through some tough hurdles in my life, my mother came into my mind and asked myself “how in the world did she managed to stay with my father after all these years?
As I look back to the past and even gone through some obstacles that I knew she direly went through, now I remember her and her bravado and I valued her more than ever.
Unconditional love. That’s the keyword.
My friend was right when one night we were talking and he coined the term “unconditional love” as the right form of a motherly love.
I suddenly felt bad, when realizing all the humps and bumps inside my parent’s marriage went rocky and we all judged her for being the one who’s responsible for my father’s deeds. We grew up seeing her cry in the middle of the night when my Papa didn’t come home or he left immediately well dressed after coming home from work.
My mother became bitterly irritated all the time, always yelling at each and everyone of us and set us grounded. After college and we got the chance to work somewhere and live on our own, we left our house one by one.
Everytime we pay a visit to our parents every week before, we all say the same thing-we miss our mother’s cooking. I am not really a good cook just like my other siblings but we all learned to taste and cook from her.
Her style of cooking “if you know how to eat, then you should know how to cook!” She’s a great chef and a baker. We love her cooking and even the taste and aroma of coffee in the morning when she prepares our breakfast it still remain remarkable and I cannot compare that to any American or commercialized coffee shops.
All those years that we have lived with them, we live in so much restrictions and ground rules that we do not really understand why can’t we do all those things when other children can.
But now that I’m already matured, now I understand why she had kept us so grounded and restricted from all those things that we are dying to do when we were younger and to think that she’s always mad at everything and everyone of us, even to other people-and mind you that she’s also meddling with our dog’s sex life it infuriates her.
Now I know that it’s not that easy to be in her place. She always says that if it were not because of her kids, she would’ve left and lived with her siblings. I was at a very young age before and I couldn’t understand why all of these are happening.
I said to myself, maybe because she’s too much of a nagger that’s why my Father looked for an alternative reclusion and wander.
But now I can see more clearer from my own perspective and after going through several painful break ups and having bad relationships, I wonder how did my Mother put up with this after all these years when knowing that the person by yourside is already intoxicating and the fact that that person’s is not being faithful to you.
All the torments, shocks, pain, anguish and reluctance to run, go and escape from reality when you cannot talk to anybody about the things that you’re going through, you won’t have any other outlet but to be outraged with all the things that’s existing around you-even when you see yourself in the mirror.
I salute my Mother for putting up with all those struggles for how many years, for staying to keep our family together and for sacrificing her own pride and happiness for the sake of her love and care.
She’s still is the most difficult person I ever lived with, but next to God… she’s the best teacher that I ever had and she taught me the best lessons in life.
Her sacrifices really paid off and my parents will be celebrating their golden anniversary soon and this goes with the old adage that “sometimes its gets worse before it gets better”.
Happy Mother’s day Ma’!